by Terry L. Sumerlin
One of the nice things about our 54-year-old barbershop is that we get to see customers go through the various stages of life. In some cases, we even give first haircuts to those whose grandfathers got their first haircuts at J.B.’s.
It’s quite interesting to watch the little fellows as they become accustomed to the new experience. Generally, we find they get more worked up over the second haircut than they do the first. Yet, after they settle into the routine, they start looking forward to playing with the toys and to receiving gum or a lollipop after their haircut. Then they simply display the happy, carefree disposition of little boys. They don’t worry about being happy. They’re just happy! At this stage of their lives, the hokey pokey is pretty much what it’s all about.
As these little boys become teenagers, their upbeat attitude often changes. Some of them become infected with the same attitude that plagues most adults. It’s an attitude that postpones happiness through a “someday I’ll…” approach.
With such a mindset, a person feels that happiness will come someday when certain conditions are met. The boy (or girl) may feel that happiness will occur when he graduates from high school. Then the thought changes to, “When I go off to college.” In college he wishes he could get through, and get on with life. Then he realizes that, for happiness, he needs a J-O-B to go with his Ph.D. Following that, he would be happy if he could just get married, have children, own a business, get out of debt, retire or travel. Someday, everything will be great!
Stephen Leacock, the Canadian humorist, said it very well: “Life, we learn too late, is in the living, in the tissue of every day and every hour.”
Dr. Maxwell Maltz, author of “Psycho-Cybernetics,” observed that, once the mind accepts the concept of conditional happiness, one will never be happy. Once that requirement is met, the mind, being so conditioned, will immediately go to work to set up the next prerequisite for happiness. Thus, an endless, futile cycle.
Maltz concluded that if, a person is going to be happy, it will never be because of something. It will always be - period! So, maybe there’s more to the hokey pokey philosophy than we thought.
LEADERSHIP PRINCIPLE: Maintain a positive outlook, without waiting for "someday I'll."
Copyright @ 2004 Terry L. Sumerlin
Monday, February 01, 2010
Monday, January 04, 2010
PHOTO BECOMES MORE THAN THE NEGATIVE
by Terry L. Sumerlin
“If that picture shows up on Facebook, you’re in a lot of trouble.” That’s what I jokingly told Priscilla, our daughter-in-law.
“That picture” is the same one that’s now their screen saver. It’s also the same picture that our son, Jon, laughs at every time he walks past their computer.
Priscilla took the picture when we were with them over the holidays. Taken in their front yard on Tinker AFB, Oklahoma City, the photo shows Jon and me in our snow shoveling outfits. We were clearing 14 inches of the white stuff off their driveway.
Jon looked fine. He’s tall, youthful, well built and properly attired. I, on the other hand, forgetting for the moment the tall, youthful, well built stuff will simply say I was not properly outfitted. The only items I wore that looked stylish were my leather jacket and the BlackBerry hanging from my belt.
Though my trousers were Dockers, conspicuously tucked into the tops of Priscilla’s boots with the frilly fur around the tops, they looked very un-Docker like. But, I figured Priscilla’s boots would work better in the snow than my Florsheim Imperial loafers, despite how her boots made me look. Besides, the borrowed ski cap that hung rather loosely on my head looked to me more ridiculous than the frilly boots. But, who cared? The thought never crossed my mind that I was dressing for a photo op.
As I looked at the picture on the computer screen what I disliked most about it, though, was not the boots or the ski cap. It was the fact that dressed as I was I looked like my father. Mind you, there was nothing wrong with Dad’s looks. However, I like to think I’m young and he was…. Well, you know what I mean.
Suddenly, while we were discussing the picture, I came to realize that Jon has an entirely different take on the photo. Though the picture makes him laugh, what he sees is not simply someone who is ridiculously dressed – or even someone who looks like his grandfather. And, though I can’t recall his exacts words, I do remember that he expressed how he felt about the picture in a very touching way.
As I was jokingly raising sand about their embarrassing screen saver, Jon finally said, “Dad, I love that picture! To everyone else you’re all serious. (I took that to mean I’m a professional and am often seen in coat and tie.) But, to me you’re just Dad.”
At this point you might expect me to say that success without the respect of those we love is very empty. Yet, while that is true, the point of our story goes much farther than that. So that we don’t miss it here it is.
LEADERSHIP PRINCIPLE: When you strip away the titles, roles, accomplishments and appurtenances of success what remains –remains longest.
Copyright @ 2009 American City Business Journals
“If that picture shows up on Facebook, you’re in a lot of trouble.” That’s what I jokingly told Priscilla, our daughter-in-law.
“That picture” is the same one that’s now their screen saver. It’s also the same picture that our son, Jon, laughs at every time he walks past their computer.
Priscilla took the picture when we were with them over the holidays. Taken in their front yard on Tinker AFB, Oklahoma City, the photo shows Jon and me in our snow shoveling outfits. We were clearing 14 inches of the white stuff off their driveway.
Jon looked fine. He’s tall, youthful, well built and properly attired. I, on the other hand, forgetting for the moment the tall, youthful, well built stuff will simply say I was not properly outfitted. The only items I wore that looked stylish were my leather jacket and the BlackBerry hanging from my belt.
Though my trousers were Dockers, conspicuously tucked into the tops of Priscilla’s boots with the frilly fur around the tops, they looked very un-Docker like. But, I figured Priscilla’s boots would work better in the snow than my Florsheim Imperial loafers, despite how her boots made me look. Besides, the borrowed ski cap that hung rather loosely on my head looked to me more ridiculous than the frilly boots. But, who cared? The thought never crossed my mind that I was dressing for a photo op.
As I looked at the picture on the computer screen what I disliked most about it, though, was not the boots or the ski cap. It was the fact that dressed as I was I looked like my father. Mind you, there was nothing wrong with Dad’s looks. However, I like to think I’m young and he was…. Well, you know what I mean.
Suddenly, while we were discussing the picture, I came to realize that Jon has an entirely different take on the photo. Though the picture makes him laugh, what he sees is not simply someone who is ridiculously dressed – or even someone who looks like his grandfather. And, though I can’t recall his exacts words, I do remember that he expressed how he felt about the picture in a very touching way.
As I was jokingly raising sand about their embarrassing screen saver, Jon finally said, “Dad, I love that picture! To everyone else you’re all serious. (I took that to mean I’m a professional and am often seen in coat and tie.) But, to me you’re just Dad.”
At this point you might expect me to say that success without the respect of those we love is very empty. Yet, while that is true, the point of our story goes much farther than that. So that we don’t miss it here it is.
LEADERSHIP PRINCIPLE: When you strip away the titles, roles, accomplishments and appurtenances of success what remains –remains longest.
Copyright @ 2009 American City Business Journals
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